Taking it easy a few more days

January 8, 2009

I pretty much did nothing today. Okay, yeah, I messed around on-line a little and paid some bills, but other than that I watched TV all day. My brother called me and I told him I was thinking about going out into the world just so I could say I did something today, but he talked me out of it. "Abby, you only have a few more days before you go back to work. I say you do whatever you feel like doing. You've earned it." I really didn't take much convincing.

One milestone I did achieve though, I took a bubble bath! You may not think that's a big deal, but for me it sure was. Yesterday Dr. T gave me the go-ahead. It's the first time in a long time that I haven't had an ostomy bag attached to me and I was able to totally relax in the tub. Yes, you actually can bathe and go swimming with an ostomy bag, but it wasn't something I ever felt comfortable or confident enough in doing to try. Plus, there was nothing relaxing for me about the idea of laying naked in a tub of water with a bag attached to me. So, as much as I am reluctant to admit it to my Tucson water-conscious friends, I filled the bathtub and totally submerged myself! Hopefully this weekend Jeremy will get our outdoor hot-tub running and we can enjoy that again as well. It's been a long time since I sat in the hot-tub. There's nothing quite like it!

So I know that Dr. T told me I could move ahead with my "normal" life, but I still don't feel normal - physically I mean. It's a strange thing, to have your body function in a whole new way. The most difficult part about it is that I feel like I've lost my sense of intuition about my body. Right now it feels like some thing's just not quite right. Dr. T insists that it's just my body learning how to function again. Okay. I guess I have to trust her - right? I keep telling myself to trust that every thing's okay, and that if anything gets worse I can get it checked out. I know that's true. It's just so difficult.