January 15, 2009
I stayed home and took care of myself today. I stayed on top of my pain meds all day, which really helped. And I SLEPT!! And when I say I slept, I'm talking two naps for a total of FIVE hours of sleep today. At one point Jeremy was napping with me and I heard him ask me what I was saying, so I said it again. "What Abby?" He asked again. Then I figured it out. "Oh never mind. I'm talking in my sleep," I said a little frustrated that I wasn't communicating clearly whatever was going on in my dream and then I fell back into my mouth open, head back, dead to the world sleep.
I've tried to do some positive self-talk today to prepare for my wonderful scoping tomorrow. "No need to get tense Abby. Stay relaxed. That will help you the most," deep breath. I'm trying not to think about the results. I'll deal with whatever happens. Yep. I will.
I've been so touched by all the people who have responded to my last blog. I'm amazed at how people are willing to enter into this process emotionally with me. I honestly think that's what love is - being able to enter into anything emotionally with someone else. At least that's when I feel the most loved. It takes a lot of courage to jump in to someone else's grief and pain. There's no control there - you just have to let go and feel and connect and comfort and love.
This whole process has taught me something else too. I don't have to be strong and have it all together. In fact, the times that I have received the most love have been the times that I have been authentic and honest about how I'm feeling and what's going on with me. I know that's obvious, but sometimes the obvious lessons are the hardest to learn.
So I'm going to hope for a restful night's sleep tonight. I'll blog about the results of my scope when the drugs have worn off tomorrow. In the meantime, my heart will be full of gratitude for all the love, prayers and positive thoughts you all are sending my way.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
abby,
ReplyDeletegood luck tomorrow. we're sending a whole family's worth of love and good thoughts your way (always, but especially tomorrow).
"anonymous" & family
so glad you got good sleep today; will be thinking of ya tomorrow, and hoping/praying for the best...
ReplyDeleteAs I am up with insomnia at the moment, I pray that you are not. Praying for calm peace as you go in for your procedure today. May you feel surrounded and loved.
ReplyDeleteI found you're blog at www.jpouch.net.
ReplyDeleteI love reading your posts. I can relate to many of them. You've been through so much more than I have and I definitely find strength in your posts. Although I haven't had the Jpouch surgery (yet) I like reading about those who do have the pouch and how they are getting along. Feel free to stop by and read my blog as well! It's a work in progress, lol.
Mrs. McGuire,
ReplyDeleteI am SO glad you found your way to my blog. I will check yours out as well. Thank you for reading. I know how helpful it is to hear about other people going through similar circumstances. Good luck to you!
Abby
I'd like to follow your blog. How do I go about doing that? Lol, I'm that new, I don't even know how to 'subscribe' to another blog!
ReplyDeleteMrs. McGuire,
ReplyDeleteI'm actually pretty new to the blog world myself, but I believe on the first page where is says "Followers" you can click there and it will lead through how to officially follow the blog. Hope that helps!
Abby
You are in your procedure right at this moment. I just wanted to say I am praying, praying, praying for you. Sending all good energy your way. I hope you feel it.
ReplyDeleteLove
Sara Jane