A poignant moment

April 8, 2009

Here I am, once again at the airport. Now that I'm just waiting to board, I feel like I can take a deep breath. My mind has been going a mile a minute the last couple of days. I don't even know if I can focus well enough to blog very well today.

I'm still feeling good. Something poignant happened to me yesterday. I had to go to Walgreens to pick up my new script of Cipro (God bless Cipro), but I waited until 7ish because there is always such a long line right after work. I also decided to take Django with me. I love how he tilts his head when I ask, "Django. Wanna go for a ride in the car?" He gets so excited! So I took him with me. Sometimes the drive-through lady will give him a dog biscuit too.

It was a beautiful evening. There were clouds in the sky, which made for amazing colors at sunset, which is just about the time we ran our errand. I had the windows down and the moon-roof open. The breeze was just the perfect temperature (it hit 89 degrees in Tucson yesterday). When I pulled up to the drive-through, the car in the lane over from me had all their windows down too. There were little kids in the car and they were talking to Django. The mother leaned toward me from her seat and asked, "Do you have kids?" "No," I said and smiled. "You don't want them!" she joked. And then I felt a pang. I felt like I had betrayed Harper. "Yes!! Yes I do have a child!" I wanted to yell. But saying, "None living," didn't feel appropriate at the time either. And then for her to tell me that I didn't want them! I know she was just joking, but it is was hard to hear and not respond. "Yes I do!"

I reached over and petted Django. I talked to him on the way home. Such a comfort to me so much of the time.

So in a few hours I'll get to see my sister and brother-in-law. Then tomorrow morning I'll get to see my mom and my brother (and I think one of my aunts too!). It is so good to be with family. God, please let all go well . . .