One short skirt

June 17, 2009

As part of my job, I co-teach a class for couples who are going through the courts because they are divorcing/splitting and they have children. The class talks about the legal process, grief and loss for both adults and children, how to deal with conflict, how to develop a parenting plan, etc. etc. We have around 4000 people a year go through our classes. I don't teach all of them. The staff rotate teaching responsibilities. The classes have anywhere from 20-65 people in them. This morning I taught one of the smaller classes.

This morning was actually a tiny, little milestone for me. I wore a dress today that came above my knees. I know, I know, it's really not that big of a deal, but it's a little bit of a big deal to me. If you've read my blog, you know that I've struggled with some of the physical effects my illness has had on my body. And one of the big ones for me has been the stretch marks that came after I gained 100 pounds of fluid weight while in the hospital in a matter of a few weeks. I just don't have the pretty legs that I used to have. There are scars and stretches all along the inside of my legs, all the way down to the tops of my feet.

But today my attitude is, "big deal." These scarred up legs get me where I need to go (that sounds a little like a corny country song to me). So I took a major step in the direction of freedom from shame and wore a dress that I love, but that also happens to be above my knees. Not only that, I stood in front of a roomful of people for close to four hours while they no doubt analyzed everything about me (as we are wont to do when we are bored and are being lectured at). But you know what? No one pointed at my legs and giggled. No one raised their hand and asked what happened to me. In fact, I didn't even notice any gazes lingering below my hemline. But I was prepared. I braced myself. And now I think, "What wasted energy?!"

And so with relief and humor I say, "One short skirt for my legs, one giant leap for my spirit!" You can quote me on that.