Authenticity

February 12, 2009

There is a new feeling I'm experiencing. Can you imagine what it's like after almost 34 years of living to be experiencing a new feeling? It's a type of love, I know that much. It just gushes up inside me and bubbles over and I don't know what to do with it. I try to express it to people, but words fail me.

Am I just starting to really feel what love is? You know, using the word love just doesn't do justice to what I'm talking about either. Because I have loved before now. Like I said, this is completely new. And I'm hungry for it. I want to be around the people that I feel it for. Okay, now it's all starting to form in my mind. I think I see what's happening here.

I am changing. I am more in touch with my authentic self. I'm not lying to myself about who I am or what I am. I'm not trying to be perfect or have it all together. I've been whittled to the bone and all that's left is me, imperfect and true.

I think either being authentic myself is opening this new floodgate of feelings, or I'm connecting with other people who are also authentic. Either way, it is amazing to me.