Bittersweet

September 28, 2009

"How's the baby?" he asked as I led him from the lobby back to my office. Yeah. The last time I saw these parents in my office was March 14, 2008. Just ten days before I went into the hospital. I was wearing maternity clothes. My stomach was bigger than most four month pregnant women. At the time I didn't know why. Now I know it was because my colon was distended. I was one sick girl.

"Oh, she was stillborn," I responded with a weak smile. His face looked sick.

I didn't know for sure if they would remember or not. I was worried about it. Seeing clients who last saw me when I was pregnant is always hard. I'm prepared to answer the question, "Are you a mother?" Yes. And "Do you have children?" None living, or, depending on the situation, no. But "How's the baby?" That was one I wasn't ready for.

And the poor man too, right? I'm sure he was showing me kindness by remembering that I had been pregnant and by asking about my baby. Who wouldn't do that? So really, these moments are unavoidable, especially for kind, thoughtful people. Right? And this is the part of life that we share, regardless of our jobs or positions or anything. We all suffer tragedy. And thank God we are there for each other to understand and comfort one another.

It's amazing to me the connections I feel to people now. And I don't think it's one way either. When you share these heartbreaking experiences, you can't help but bond to people. Part of the sweetness in the bittersweet? I think so.