Enjoy

August 12, 2009

Another evening at home alone. And that's fine. The silence is good. I went out to the back yard and sprawled out on the hammock. I was looking up at the sky, swinging back and forth ever so slightly - just thinking. There was a storm heading west over me. The breeze turned cool and the darkness in the sky started to move. I felt one large cold drop of rain fall onto the top of my foot.

Why, why, why? What does it all mean? What's supposed to happen now? I was ready to die. I really was. I even said, "I've lived a good life. I've done my best to love people and if this is my time, I'm at peace about dying. I'm really not afraid." So that's it huh? These random things happen to us, mix us up, swirl us around, and then spit us out and we're just supposed to move on? I just don't get it. Oh Abby! You're doing it again! You aren't just being satisfied with life. There doesn't always have to be more. You're missing out on the right here and right now! Let go. Let go right now and just feel that drop on your foot. Feel it. Be present in your life Abby. Be here. Enjoy what you have now. Yeah. Enjoy.