December 8, 2010
The psychological aspect of pain is taking its toll on me. I used to think pain was just a physical thing. It was easy to think that way when the pain I experienced was short term. A sore throat maybe, sprained ankle. Throw in a migraine here and there and that was as bad as it got. Migraines were the worst, but I knew they would end. It feels like I've been dealing with pain in one form or another for a long time now, and it's exhausting me, both physically and mentally.
If I could just figure out how to get a handle on the psychological part of it, I know it would help a lot. So what are you telling yourself about it Abby? What's so distressing about it? I tell myself that I'm not tough enough. If I were just a little tougher, none of this would bother me. It's because I'm a wimp that I'm in pain.
Boy, just writing that makes me realize how untrue it is. I've been through hell and back with pain. I have not been giving myself credit that I deserve. It makes me sad that I've been so hard on myself. I need to be more gentle with myself. I'm not a wimp. I'm a strong woman who has endured more than her fair share of pain. So maybe that needs to be my new mantra: I am not a wimp!!
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You are no wimp. You have been my inspiration in my time of pain. You are mentally stronger than I think I will ever be.
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