Back to the lab

December 13, 2010

Friday was one heck of a day for me. When I got to work, I just didn't know how I was going to manage another day in the amount of pain I was in. I don't recall being in this much rectal pain since after surgery. I wondered if I needed a dilation, as the symptoms I was experiencing suggested as much. I knew Dr. T was only in the GI Lab on Fridays, so I decided to see if I could get in to see her. But I've got to tell you, just making that decision totally stressed me out because I had to, yet again, leave work early to get it taken care of. I hate doing that. Grrrrr . . .

I also didn't exactly follow regular appointment scheduling procedure to get in. Thank goodness the folks in the GI Lab know me and were willing to go out of their way to help me get in. Jeremy doesn't work on Fridays, so he was able to drive me and be there with me.

They took me back to the prep area and Jeremy sat next to me while I stretched out on the gurney and they started my IV. He's always so entertaining in that setting and I was glad he was with me. Dr. T came back to say hello. "So you're in a lot of pain?" she asked. I fought back the tears as I told her I was. "We'll get in there and see what's going on. We're going to use general anesthesia on you then if that's okay since your pain level is so high." That was a-okay with me. There have been times that I have been scoped/dilated and I could hear myself yell in pain with the conscious sedation drugs. I didn't need any of that right now.

They wheeled me back to the procedure room and the anesthesiologist laughed as I assumed the position. "You really know the drill, don't you?" I smiled, but just couldn't laugh. Tears started to roll down my cheeks as the drugs were administered. I'm just so worn out.

The next thing I knew, I could hear people talking around me. "I'm cold. Could I get another blanket?" I mumbled in an intoxicated manner. "What?" Jeremy asked. Where am I? What's Jeremy doing here? Are they done already? The last thing I knew I was crying, looking up at the anesthesiologist telling him my face felt tingly. Ah yes. I must be done. "What did she say?" I asked Jeremy, but I must not have been talking clearly as he asked me again what I had just said. "What did she say?" I asked.

"She said you didn't need a dilation." I broke down in a full-on sob. "Oh no. No Abby. That's good, right? You didn't need a dilation," he leaned over me and held his face next to mine smoothing my hair as I continued to cry. He doesn't understand. No dilation? "She said your rectum was inflamed though, and she took a biopsy of the tissue in your pouch to see if you have an infection there. She said they'll know in 7 days. If you have an infection she'll put you on a course of antibiotics. But that's good Abby. You didn't need a dilation." I wish he would stop saying that's good. It's not good. It's horrible. "What's wrong Abby?" he said as he kept smoothing my hair.

"If it was just that I needed a dilation then it could have been done and over with and I would have some relief. But it's that the disease is flaring?" I could barely finish my sentence. "I have to keep going in this pain," I sobbed.

I got it together though, by the time we got home. I was just so tired. I'm sure the drugs had messed with my emotions a little too. Always a strange and scary feeling to come to after being under. Nothing a little sleep couldn't help improve a little. So over the weekend I have doubled up on me enemas and have doubled my Cipro intake (both within limits advised by my doctor). I have used the hot-tub several times which has helped manage my pain. I have slept and given myself permission to do very little. This morning I'm feeling a little better. I just hope I'm on the upswing now.

I told Dr. T I am ready for the revision surgery. She told Jeremy when I come in for the consultation she'll explain it all to me in detail so I know what I'm getting into. After the revision surgery there will be no more UC in my body to flare like this. No more disease!! For that I cannot wait.