Here we go!

January 5, 2011

I’ve been reading. Trying to educate myself for my appointment with Dr. T today. Articles like Ileal Pouch-Anal Anastomosis: Reoperation for Pouch-related Complications and Reconstruction for Chronic Dysfunction of Ileoanal Pouches. I feel like I have a good grasp on the complications that can occur (and there are many) and on what the chances of improving my quality of life with this revision surgery are. Each article mentioned that no one in their research died from resulting complications. Okay. That’s good. I’m not risking my life here . . . just my quality of life.

I had an emotional reaction when I read about the average improvements in frequency of bowel movements after revision/reconstruction surgery (both daytime and nighttime improvements in frequency). I also realized that I have more symptoms that are not what is expected after having a j-pouch surgery than just rectal pain. Please understand, I have never expected my life to be what it was before UC. Never. But there has been plenty of research describing what life for the average j-poucher is. So it's been hard for me to know what is just something I should live with and what is something that can improve. From reading these articles though, I’m hopeful that my functioning will improve in more ways than just not being in pain any more, not to mention the UC will be completely removed from my body. That thought is actually exciting to me. And I realized too that I am the only person who can decide what I am willing to risk to improve my quality of life. I'm the only one living in this body. I am not satisfied with my quality of life right now.

So I feel confident going into this appointment that I will ask educated questions and hopefully my emotions will be under control enough that I can actually hear and understand what Dr. T is telling me. I’m glad Jeremy will be there for that reason too. It’s always good to have an extra pair of ears at these appointments. I can’t tell you how many times we’ve debriefed only to find one or the other of us had picked up on significant information that the other missed. It’s good to have a life-partner who is so willing to be there in that way. I’m a blessed woman. So here we go!