Moving forward

August 31, 2010

If we lived in the days of wearing a black arm band while mourning, I believe I would be to the point where I would take my band off. There are still surprises for me once in a while. Things I didn't realize would remind me of Harper but do. For the most part though, I know what to expect and can prepare. I don't break down crying when reminded. If there is something that hits me hard, I'm able to hold onto it and process it at a later, more appropriate time. I think about her every day. Every day. But more often than not, it is with a tender sadness and awe.

I'm feeling tired of my grief. I'm tired of the self absorption that accompanies grief. I guess that's part of the process too. Part of what helps us move forward. And that's what I'm trying to do: move forward. Slowly but surely I'm doing it.